


Crustaceans and Cardigans

by Littlebassboy



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Humanstuck, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-30
Updated: 2015-04-14
Packaged: 2017-12-07 00:04:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,304
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/741759
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Littlebassboy/pseuds/Littlebassboy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Your name is Karkat Vantas and you're the junior year's vice president, and you definitively DO NOT like boys. Okay maybe a little bit.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Your name is Karkat Vantas and you're the junior year's vice president, and you definitively DO NOT like boys. Especially boys like the captain of the soccer team, Dave Strider. I mean he's so douchey even the air around him exudes it. You tend to avoid people like 'him' at all cost, but, as fate would have it, you have every class but symphonic band II with him. You even share the same lunch block together. It's like the school is trying to make you hate it. Imagine a place that not only questions your self worth via alphabetical scaling, but forces you to be near people who degrade you for their own satisfaction.

But despite school being as shitty as it is you've made quite a few friends who appreciate you. Those being Eridan Ampora, master of the sassy gay friend routine; his boyfriend Sollux Captor, a computer prodigy, like he could be the next Bill Gates level of computer knowledge; John Egbert, keeper of the (Piano)keys and douche-bag friends(like Dave); your half-sister Kanaya Maryam, the school's fashion mogul; Rose Lalonde, the school's psychoanalyst and the unfashionable girlfriend of Kanaya (how Kanaya hasn't torched her wardrob, you'll never know); and Terezi Pyrope, the best blind friend anyone could ever ask for. And then there's you, Karkat Vantas, the DEFINITIVELY NOT GAY-- okay so you're a little bit gay, but you blame your brother for every bit of it.

It seems like every Friday you come home and Cronus' truck is parked in your drive way and they're either making out in it, or in your brother's room. Which is right next to your's. You've heard both Porrim and Mrs. Maryam scold him about it, but it seems like Kankri just can't control himself, it's like Cronus melts Kankri into human puddle whenever they get into it. But I mean can you blame him? He's got muscle in all the right plac.. Why does Eridan's broth... OH GOD IT'S DAVE ABORT ABORT!

"Karkat!" You snap out of your haze to see John's buck teeth right into your face and try to compose yourself. 

"Gah, Egbert what the hell! Don't you know it's rude to interrupt people while they're thinking?!".

"Sorry! It's just Dave sent me a text saying, 'you need to tell your band buddy to quit trying to undress me with his eyes, if he wants to see me naked all he has to do is ask.' Haha, Gross right! Like you to would totally date each other, as if!"

John laughs as he pantomimes you and Dave making out. You swear his laugh is contagious, like the flu. Once he starts, everbody else does it too. But in the back of your mind you can't help but wish that Dave would be a man of his word.

As the morning bell chimes, you and John walk to your first period together, Math III, but as fate would have it you don't have John's class. Rather, you have class with Dave Strider. As you slump in your seat and begin to pull out your math books, you're greeted by Strider waltzing waist-to-face directly into you.

"Whoah! Easy there fella. I don't want the girls to think I'm too easy now do ya?" He flashes a look at the group of girls on the other side of the room as you hear a cacophony of giggles.

As you compose yourself, you can't help but smell his cologne wafting in the air around you. Great, now you even SMELL like him. As class starts, the teacher announces to the class that today will be study day for the test tommorrow, and that everyone needs a partner to help them study. A wave of mixed emotions reach your ears as students begin pairing up and start 'studying' for the test. As you get out the pre-test to begin writing the questions down in a different order, you get a tap on the shoulder, causing you to stop what your doing.

"Hey, Karkat right? Listen I need a favor. I need you to help me ace this math test so I can pass this class."

"Fine! But I'm only doing this because John doesn't want you to be held back."

"Really! Oh man, I have to give my thanks to the buck-toothed wonder after this. Paise be to the Egbertains!"

You proceed to have a surprisingly pleasant time teaching him what will be on this test. As you start drilling him on answers, you notice he starts to chew on his pencil. You see him do it in art all the time, so why do you pay so much attention to how he does it now? You can't help it as you analyze every bit of it. How his face looks so innocent, how he idly moves the pencil when he thinks. You start to lose yourself in his every move until you awake from it by the sound of the school bell. You hastly pack up your things and bolt out of the class room before Dave notices, and head to second period. 

Art class.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay and how short this chapter is.
> 
> Time I can spend writing is short and inbetween right now but hopefully i can get on a consistent time clock....

You run as fast as you can down the hallway and away from Strider that you fail to notice the Buck-Toothed wonder know as John Egbert. you and john collide heads and as if from some sort of slap-stick comedy, all of his and your books went everywhere."Shit! Egbert, sorry, no time to talk gotta get to class." you frantically grab up your scattered belongs and rush off to hide somewhere in the art room."Wha- hey Karkat wait up! Man, I wonder what got his undies in a bunch?"

 

You are now John Egbert best friends with both Dave Strider AND Karkat Vantas ( how convenient for the plot). You stand up and dust off your slightly-to-big-for-you Ghost Slime shirt and cargo shorts. As you begin to collect your scattered belongs as Dave strut up. 

 

"Oh heya Egderp, whacha doin' on the ground?"

"Not much. Just looking for floor ghosts and my glasses."

You start Panning the ground for your glasses as you see your papers move together guided by some rather pale blobs which you assume to belong to Dave.

"Thanks Dave."

"No problem. It's the least I can do for The Incredible Egderpules, Math wizard extraordinaire, Hero of the Basketball team, Savior of the-"

 

You find your glasses and with your free hand gag strider before his monologuing goes any further but you her him muffilling more behind you hand as you ajust your glasses.As You free your papers from the strider death grip and remove your hand from strider's mouth you are greeted with a dramatic huff and a mock look of indignation as your giggling reaches critical mass.As you both walk together to you next class he starts grilling on you about what happened in the hall.

 

"So Who's head needs the Swirly Spa Special? Was it Mitchell, Danny, Jordan?"

You shake your head. "No it wasn't anyone of the regular guys."

"I just don't get it!" Dave Exclaimed as he starts to slip in his natural accent."It just ain't right, What they got

against you, I betcha they're just jealous that you got everything they wish they had!"

"It Doesn't matter who it was! He apologized so there is no reason to make a big deal out of it." You yell and stare at him sternly. 

"Alright." Daves sighs. "I'll let it go this time, but the next time you get picked on you come to me. Alright?"

"I Promise."

 

As you see John close the door behind him you head off to Art while trying to compose yourself. You are not cool enough to be Dave Strider right now because Dave is not cool enough to be Dave Strider.


End file.
